Delusion

A peek into my "ideal" day:

I wake up fresh and well rested, feeling like I could take on the world (which is a good thing since that's pretty much what I am about to do). I make myself a perfect cup of tea, strong and sweet and sit down in the comfy chair by the window with my laptop, where I casually type my latest blog entry which is eloquent, witty and inspiring. Next, I climb atop the exercise bike in the living room and spin my way through the latest episode of Gray's Anatomy on my DVR. Then, I get to take a nice hot shower in peace and quiet, I even have time to get dressed in a wrinkle and spit-up-free T-shirt and blow dry my hair! Soon I am lying next to First Son, shnuggling him awake - and he wakes up chipper and happy! Together we head downstairs where I tie on a vintage apron and make him a nutritious breakfast full of whole grains and fresh fruit! He chows down and we have some playful banter while I pack his lunch - more whole grains, fruit and veggies (boy, I am a good Mom!). He scrubs his fangs and flosses!! We stroll to the bus stop hand in hand, and he plants a sweet kiss on my cheek before he climbs aboard the school bus, off to a perfect day of First Grade.

I head inside, grabbing the garbage cans on my way. Then I do 100 lbs. of laundry - wash, fold and put away, unload the dishwasher and clean the bathroom, before Curly and the babies wake up! Soon I hear the cooing and sweet voices gently calling "Mommy!" - I head upstairs where I start the diaper changing process, each babe patiently waiting for his turn. I never run out of wipes in the middle of a mess, and there are always plenty of matching socks tucked into the proper bin, just within arm's reach. Curly girl gets a bath and gets her curls primped, then we all share a healthy breakfast and...vitamins! We drive Curly to school - on time! Then we head off to do our "marketing" - where I not only remember to bring all the coupons, but I actually use them! I then head off to the library where we are on time to partake in some lively, educational program full of singing, jumping and playing (the other Moms are all jealous and slightly embarrassed because of my perfect pitch and boundless energy and flexibility). At home I peel, chop and mince all of the ingredients for a wholesome and delicious dinner. Then, we're off to pick Curly Girl up from school, again...on time!

We eat lunch in the car - I have packed delicious sandwiches on whole wheat bread. Then we head to the playground where we all laugh, and giggle and play and there are no yellow jackets. When we are tired we all head back to the car together, as if we all think the same thought at the same time, there is no arguing, no lost shovels and pails, no whining or crying. We clean our hands with baby wipes (and put the dirty ones right into a small garbage bag). Then I hand out juice boxes and cheese sticks and we drive home all singing along to Guns & Roses. (is that wrong?)

The babies go in for their 3 hour naps and Curly sits down with some paper and crayons to work on a masterpiece. I settle in with the latest book club pick and another perfect cup of tea. After a while I head out to the bus stop and meet First Son and the friend who is coming for a play date. They play together so nicely, including the little sister in all of their adventures. Everyone loves the snack that I prepare, and nobody spills their juice! The friend's Mom arrives right on time to pick up her child, offers to take First Son to play next week, and makes a quick exit. First Son sits down to his HW without my nagging, and his handwriting is perfect, his answers inspired.

The house is dusted, the proper holiday decorations are displayed, I answer all of my e-mails, and take care of all of the PTA calls. I send greeting cards for all holidays and birthdays, prepare my lesson for religion class, clean the kitchen floor, paint the playroom, finish my scrapbooks, balance the checkbook and polish the silver.

Then, Hubby comes home. The table is set, the milk is poured, everyone likes what I made, and...Paddy boy does NOT throw his dish and cup on the floor! We have a delicious homemade dessert, and then everyone lines up to scrub their fangs. Hubby cleans the kitchen - loads the dishwasher, wipes the counters - lifting things to wipe underneath. Meanwhile I give all the boys a bath, and read them a story - I even use funny voices. Everyone slips into their beds - which have fresh, clean sheets and drift off to sweet slumber.

Hubby makes a fire and pours me a glass of Cabernet, then we sit and discuss current events. We talk about everything from headlines to hangnails, and stare lovingly into one another's eyes!

By the way, I have a lovely bridge in Brooklyn that I have decided to sell at a very reasonable price, do you think you might be interested?

In truth, my day looks almost nothing like what I have described. I am tired, exhausted even. My house is a mess, the bathrooms are health hazard dirty, we live out of laundry baskets, and our socks never match. We almost never get anywhere on time. Somebody doesn't like what I make for dinner, and Paddy always throws his plate and food on the floor. I have to make First son erase and re-write most of his homework, and I can't sing to save myself (although I try). I can't remember the last time all four kids were bathed on the same day, and my own sheets are sandy. I haven't blogged in weeks, and although I do remember what hubby looks like, do not ask me what color his eyes are.

It is a sweet, happy, messy life and I wouldn't trade it for the world.