Last week I took the kids to our local town beach playground for a play date. Really it was Paddy Boy's play date, as the friends we were meeting there are about his height, but Curly Girl loves a playground anytime, and Dexter pretty much goes where I go (First Son was busy enjoying first grade, and couldn't attend).
We arrived at the beach on a beautiful September morning only to be plagued by...BEES. Yellow jackets to be exact. I don't like bees. In retrospect, I should have packed everyone right back into Rosie the Red Van and headed straight back home, but....what is it they say about hindsight? Something about it doesn't need contacts? Well, I do. The bees were everywhere, not just in the parking lot, not only near the garbage cans, but everywhere. They were aggressive. At one point I ripped Paddy Boy's brightly colored tie-dyed shirt right off him because it seemed to be attracting them. I was going under the mistaken notion that bees don't sting you unless you provoke them because once they sting you they die, and they aren't generally suicidal. Well, actually that is true about bees, but I have since learned that yellow jackets are actually wasps, not bees at all and they can sting you without suffering any fatal consequence. Information which would have been good to know last week. You can guess where this is going....
So, the three 2(ish) yr olds ignored each other, threw sand, climbed monkey bars meant for 8yr olds, gave the Moms a good workout (spin class...ha!), slid down the slides, and successfully avoided getting stung by flying insects for about an hour...and then it was time to go home. There I was buckling Dexter into his car seat attached to the stroller, when...zap. The BASTARD got me right on the back of my arm, Suddenly I was the crazy cursing lady at the playground. If you've never been stung by a yellow jacket let me assure you..it hurts! A lot.
I managed to get everybody in the car, chase no less than three "bees" out of the car and drive myself home. I immediately took 4tsp of Children's Benadryl and applied an ice pack - before unbuckling a single car seat. Mother in law took Curly home with her, and Dexter & Paddy went in for a nap. I proceeded to pass out (see the above reference to 4tsp of Benadryl). When I woke up my arm was red all the way up to my elbow and it was hot to the touch. Guess what? I am allergic to bees. Hooray. Something new to add to my resume.
I went to see an allergist. I am deathly afraid of being out with my children and being suddenly overcome by an inability to breathe. He prescribed three medicines that I should carry with me at all times, including an "epi-pen" - a pre-filled syringe which I was taught to stab into my thigh in the event that I go into anaphylactic shock, an antihistamine 5x stronger than Benadryl, and a rescue inhaler. All this crap residing in my Vera Bradley just because of some little yellow bastard.
This morning I headed out to see my friends at the pharmacy (they were expecting me because it's been at least a week since I was last there). The pharmacy is located inside the grocery store, making it possible for me to pick up my prescriptions and supplies for dinner with only one round of car seat buckling/unbuckling. Convenient. Tonight I was making pasta with oven roasted squash for dinner. I decided to pick up some Italian bread. The best value seemed to be a package with three small loaves - in a sealed plastic bag. I also picked up some American cheese, apples, bananas and a box of tissues. Where am I going with this??? I get home, pop open the trunk and start unloading my purchases. I go to grab the bag with the Italian bread only....there's a freaking yellow jacket in the bag! The bastards are mocking me!
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