Sweet Summer

This week officially started summer! Okay, so the solstice or the equinox, or whatever planetary science determined date marking the true start of summer occurred last week, this week we celebrated ...the last day of school, and therefore the first day of summer vacation! Wow. A date that has meant absolutely nothing to me for the past 15 years (yikes) now means more than ever! First of all, I can't believe how fast the year went, First Son is now moving on to first grade! He, and more amazingly, I, survived kindergarten! Now we have our first "school summer".

I remember that as an idealistic kid I thought the ten weeks between grades would last forever! Now as a more realistic adult I know that they will fly by way too fast. For just these ten short weeks I have my sweet First Son all to myself! Of course I have to share him with his three siblings (and he has to share me); and he is going to VBS for two weeks, but other than that, he is all mine! Just like before that evil (wonderful) thing called kindergarten came along! I am determined to squeeze every ounce of wonderfulness (is that a word?) out of this time. Come September I will not only be sending First Son off to first grade, but Curly Girl will be leaving me three mornings a week to attend preschool....it all happens so fast!

I have been thinking lately about my "goals" for the summer. You see, I am all too likely to spend the greater part of my day cleaning my endlessly messy kitchen unless I force myself to plan otherwise. I want my summer to feel like one of those old Country Time Lemonade commercials...sweet and slow and relaxed. Since they say that you are much more likely to accomplish your goals if you write them down, that is what I am about to do! Here goes:

Tricia's Summer Goals 2008

(in no particular order)

1. Shnuggle First Son at least 3 mornings each week
2. Have a family picnic dinner at the beach 1x a week
3. Use our pool membership at least 3x a week
4. Host/attend a play date for each child at least 1x a week
5. Eat as many outdoor meals as possible
6. Limit TV to one hour a day with the exception of a rainy day DVD
7. Use our blow up backyard pools, swings and sandbox every sunny day
8. Ice pops EVERYDAY
9. Cook with the kids at least 1x a week (use lots of fresh veggies)
10. Read at least 2 novels of my own choosing (in addition to book club picks)
11. Have one hour of formal learning time for First Son and Curly each morning
12. Do a fun craft at least 1x a week (even if it's just playdoh, but better if its painting rocks!)
13. Take at least one trip to Fire Island with the kids
14. Take at least one trip to Fire Island without the kids
15. Eat NO Fast Food lunches (this is a tough one)
16. Plan a "special Big Kid day" for First Son (maybe Splish Splash waterpark)
17. Walk the Jones Beach Boardwalk & eat Ice Cream at least 1x
18. Redecorate the playroom! (this is necessary in order to survive the other 3 seasons)
19. Go to the movies for Wall E and American Girl (now that Curly is old enough for popcorn, she's definitely old enough for American Girl, hooray!)
20. Catch Lightening bugs with the kids
21. Take at least one road trip (Philly or Phoenicia? I'd do both if I didn't already have a mortgage)
22. Lay a blanket out in the yard and stare at the stars at least 1x/month
23. Take and share lots and lots of pictures!
24. Help the kids run a lemonade stand
25. Say "Yes" as much as possible
26. Start First Son & Curly working on helpful, age appropriate chores - with just my love as reward (ok, and room & board)
27. Spend quality time with Hubby every day
28. Smile, laugh and have fun EVERY DAY!!

Twenty eight items. Not bad. Doable I think, although I am sure I am missing something. That big yellow bus will be here again in the blink of an eye, and I don't want to have any regrets. When I look back on the summer of '08, I will see that I was super busy no matter what I do, so why not spend my time chasing fireflies instead of scrubbing floors? I am sure my kids will agree.

Size doesn't matter after all!!

So this morning when I checked my inbox I found a very thought provoking e-mail from my friend JacksMom. She is talking about the quote I have had listed on the side of my blog:

" When you have only one child you're really just playing house"

- A Grandma at Curly's Banarina School

Here is what JacksMom had to say:

"I have read this quote on your blog several times and each time i read it i tend to get heated up and my blood boils.
This grandma at banarina school.....make sure you tell her that i have ONE child and i work very hard to make sure im raising him proper, hopefully he will grow up and know how to love someone, show them respect, be kind and caring.
I have a "Family"..it might just be the 3 of us but i do not consider this to be a game or something that i take lightly....."PLAYING HOUSE"...
You dont have to have a BIG family in order to be taken seriously.
I love my son to death and i will push you down if need to...but honestly, just because some one has one child doesnt mean that she doesnt work just as hard as the person with 2,3 or 4.

So tell Grammy, back in her day, im sure she didnt work and had the luxury of staying home and playing house to be a little bit more careful how she phrases things...

thats all...thanks for listening."

So Wow. I didn't see this one coming, but I should have. I see now that while that quote is amusing to me, a mother of four who is deep in the trenches (and having previously been a mother of one), I also see that it is disrespectful to those with "only one child". I am sorry. I would never mean to insult anyone, and certainly not another mother. I don't for a minute believe that the size of your family should at all be related to whether or not you're taken seriously as a mother, and I apologize to the masses if I perpetuated that myth. I also remember when I had "just one" and sometimes I think that was harder than 2, 3 and 4!

Something that I have spoken about before on this blog is how rude I consider people who make comments about the size of my BIG family, and it's no different for those who choose to have small families. It's nobody's business!! Every family makes their decisions about children for different reasons, and I totally respect that. I also know that their are Moms of "just one" who didn't actually make that "decision" - they yearn with their whole being for another child, but for whatever reason, they aren't able to have one.

As parents, we need to band together, respect one another and support each other. There is no way I could get through a single day, literally, if I didn't have so many other great Moms to help me out. So, I have removed the offensive comment from my blog. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

To JacksMom: your kid is Awesome! Your family is great! I think you are a wonderful Mom, and I am so glad that we get to share our very different and very similar experiences together!

What I am

Authentic. Real, true. Lately I have been giving this word a lot of thought.What does it mean to be authentic? I am not talking about some rare coin or antique, but something that may be even more obscure, true self. I guess it is all tied into self-confidence, and whether or not you have any is going to play a big role in whether you know your true self. I mean, let's face it we all have moments of self-doubt, we all have times when we are certain that the grass is greener just over that elusive fence, but what happens when we are so jaded that we don't really know what we want or who we are? I will admit that I don't always know who I am, but I do know who I am not, and that may be just as important, especially as a parent. I must never forget that as a Mom I am first and foremost a role model. If I obsess constantly about my body image, what am I teaching my children about their own bodies? If I am not a good friend, how can I teach my kids to be good friends? If I am a materialistic consumerist, how do I teach my children to be grateful for what they have and to be good stewards of our earth? Everything that I do sends a message to my children, be it good or bad and I need to be ever aware of that fact.
What I am is what I am. Are you what you are or what? Think about it.