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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Welcome Baby Banana


Somewhat akin to my pal Jerry Seinfeld's diatribe about taking and then keeping reservations, I would like to point out that if you are going to take a message you must then give the message.

My very good friend Chiquita had been expecting her second child, a girl, to arrive via scheduled c-section on the 23rd of this month. Chiquita and I go way back, almost 20 years. We have shared every one of life's most magical and most tragic moments together since then. We have rejoiced together about prom dates, college graduations, engagements, pregnancies, and new jobs. We created and adhered to our own life motto of "no regrets", which went hand in hand with "summer rule". We were each other's bridesmaids. We also helped each other through breakups, college disasters, marriage troubles and the way too early deaths of our parents. Although we each have blood sisters, we are, in the truest sense, soul sisters making our way through this life together.

Just over two years ago I sat in a hospital room with my very frightened friend as she prepared to face the outcome of breaking her water - 6 weeks before her due date. I arrived at the hospital to offer support, humor, and love; and hoping to hide the absolute fear that had all but paralyzed me. Maybe it was because she had sat with me just 8 weeks earlier on the floor of my bedroom and cried with me as I mourned the child who had died in my womb at just 12 weeks gestation, but I think that it would have been important to me to be there with her even if she hadn't. I listened intently as the doctor explained the medical reasons that a c-section delivery the next morning offered the best prognosis. Then I talked with my friend and tried to prepare her as best I could for a surgical birth (having experienced it twice myself), and for the very real possibility of leaving the hospital without a baby in her arms. We talked for a long time.

A few days later I stood by her as she kissed her new baby "goodbye for now" in the NICU and then , when she was done wiping away her tears, I drove her to her baby shower where she got to do the surprising instead of being the surprised. Praise God, just a week after that I stayed with her mother in law and prepared the house for the homecoming of a perfectly healthy, if somewhat tiny, baby boy. I was so honored when she let me hold him and change him, and I will never forget (or let him forget) how teeny tiny was his heiney.

This past Friday I drove over to Chiquita's house to sit and enjoy a cup of tea, watch our sons play together (it was the day I drove Chiquita to her baby shower that I learned about Paddy boy's impending arrival! Our 2 boys are just less than 9 months apart), and once again sit and talk about what it was going to be like. This time she would be bringing home a full term baby, and a girl at that (kind of a major thing for us members of the motherless daughters club, becoming mothers of daughters...). I brought her some magazines and lip balm for the hospital. Basically I was just trying to let her know without saying so that she is important to me, and that I am here for her, my soul sister.

So..imagine how I felt when, come Monday morning my sister, Aunt Mean called from work asking why I hadn't been in touch with Chiquita. Aunt Mean is an RN in the NICU at the hospital where Chiquita delivers, in fact she took care of Chiquita's son when he was born. Immediately I knew- she had the baby! (She wasn't scheduled for another 10 days, but as I have mentioned before, God doesn't use a calendar) Apparently, Chiquita and Mr. Chiquita had been trying desperately to get in touch with me. I had left my cell phone in the back of my beach chair, so I didn't even check for missed calls. I was at work all day Sunday, Hubby was home. I immediately hung up with Aunt Mean and dialed my voicemail, but no message. Strange, I thought. I called my dear Hubby and asked if he had gotten any calls the day before, or had he listened to any messages. He said "umm...", so I asked specifically about messages from Chiquita. More "umm..." then finally "I think so". What do you mean you think so??? For crying out loud, if you take a message you need to then give the message!!

I am so sorry, my dear Chiquita. I married a wonderful man who is a terrible secretary.

Last night I got to hold the new little Miss "MES", even if I was a day late. She is perfect. I held her in my arms, hiding out in the hospital room for a good 1/2 hour past the end of visiting time. I cuddled her and whispered sweet nothings into her tiny little ears. She is my little banana now, and I will forever be her melon.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

It ain't easy...

As parents, we all believe that our children are absolute angels, as was Satan himself. My children are no different. They are wonderful people, fun to be around, amazingly smart, funny and sweet. Also, every one of them, (save for little Dexter whose only saving grace is his 8wk age) are fresh, obnoxious, annoying little monsters. Depends on the day, depends on the company. Lately First Son has really been feeling his oats (what does that mean?). He has been so incredibly obnoxious and just so fresh, that each day I manage to not throttle him I believe I deserve a ticker tape parade in my honor. He is really, really difficult.
This has been so hard, I think in part because he is just such a good kid. First Son is known to be a bona fide good kid. To see and hear him acting the way he has been is keeping me up at night. I don't know what to do. Sure, there is a lot going on. A new baby, for one. Okay, a new baby who got extra attention by checking himself into the hospital twice before he was six weeks old, but still, we've had new babies before, twice. Also, he is reading now and I know that that can be a big scary change. He's home from school for the summer which means his schedule is all off, and he also has a bit of a hypoglycemia issue. I am trying to be understanding. I am trying to heap tons of positive attention on him, which does work for a while. Still, he hits his sister, talks back to his mother and disobeys his grandmother. (yes, his grandmother, a.k.a. the nicest sweetest woman on the planet)
I don't actually think that what I am going through is that remarkable. I talk to lots of other Moms and they have very similar tales. Still, it pains me. I love him so darned much that it kills me to have to admit that sometimes I just don't like him very much. Please, somebody tell me that it is going to get better.

Monday, July 7, 2008

SmartMama LOVES McNeil


I think my Hubby, who loves to play the stocks as of late, should consider pharmaceutical companies. Why? Because our family is more well known by our local pharmacist than our parish priest! Really. (in my defense, the priest is new)

Since First Son started kindergarten we are sick all the time. We used to never be sick. First Son had one ear infection in his life...before kindergarten. Now, when I leave the pediatrician's office I just schedule myself another appointment like I do when I leave the hairdresser. I know I'll be back with someone...for something, so you might as well pencil me in. I can't buy enough children's Motrin and Tylenol. I can't keep it in the house. My grocery list is: Milk, Eggs, Bread, Drugs.

Three weeks ago I brought Paddy Boy to the doctor for a follow-up from when he was there two weeks prior with Bronchitis and an ear infection (oh, that was fun too - taking an 18 mos. old for a chest x-ray that carried with it a threat of hospitalization, and me just two weeks post -partum). While I was there I asked the doctor to take a look at Dexter's belly button. In my opinion it just wasn't healing right, in spite of her having cauterized it previously. She looked, determined that indeed it wasn't healing as nicely as she liked and so she once again brought out the silver nitrate. A quick swab and we were on our way, Dexter didn't even flinch. Paddy boy was proclaimed healthy (for now) and so we set off on our day...which was really busy. Mickey D and the Sunshine girl were scheduled to tie the knot two days later and with First Son and Curly playing the important roles of flower girl and ring bearer, and myself being the wedding lady that I am, I had a lot to do.

Aunt Mean had taken Curly for the day, so as to help free me up get some things done (because really, when you've got an 18 month old, a 4 week old and a full to-do list, the addition of a 4 year old could trip you up). Unfortunately, while in Aunt Mean's care Curly announced that she was sick and needed to go home, right now! Crap. She had been complaining of a stomachache lately, but wasn't showing any symptoms. I had figured that with the new baby and all she was just trying to get some attention, but now I was convinced she had another ear infection. I called the Dr's office, but they had already left for the day. The covering Dr. was the pediatrician I fired. I resolved to take Curly to the Dr. first thing in the morning and get her the necessary antibiotic, in just enough time for her to be back to her chipper self before she would have to walk down the aisle.

Later that night Mrs. V and I had transformed my kitchen into a wedding wonderland and we were working feverishly to complete 150 wedding programs which required printing, cutting, gluing and bow-tying. I am Martha and Mrs. V is my apprentice. We had a nice operation going and we had completed at least 10 pieces (that's right, 10 of 150) when I went to change Dexter's diaper and found...mayhem. Well, I didn't know for sure at the time that it was mayhem, I just thought it was irritation and maybe a little infection around his belly button from the day's earlier cauterization. It was decided that a quick trip to the emergency room would probably be the best course of action, what with the impending nuptials and all. I told Mrs. V to keep working, do as much as she could, but that I would help her as soon as I got back...three days later!

The ER doc took one look and told me that they would have to admit him for IV antibiotics. Okay. I remained calm. Here I was, alone in the ER (poor Hubby was already exhausted from life -working and taking care of 3 plus a newborn, that I had sent him to bed) and they are telling me that they are admitting my 4 week old. Okay. I can handle this. I asked the doctor if this would be a "24 hour" thing? 24 hours would leave me roughly 18 hours before the wedding. She said it was more likely a 48 hour course, but that our regular pediatrician would make that decision. Ok. I can handle this. It's just an IV. In those tiny hands...breathe.

I spent the night in a chair next to Dexter's crib, while nurses and residents came in and out, poking him and asking me all kinds of questions. In the morning they sent him for a sonogram of his belly. This looked pretty painful, as the wand kept digging into his already very sore tummy. Then we met with the pediatrician and I explained my predicament with the wedding. Dexter would be spending another night in the hospital, but it was likely that he could go home the next day, the wedding day. Well, since the wedding wasn't scheduled until 6pm, this would probably work. I don't know why I was so naive, but I just thought that if they could get the antibiotic into his little veins that would be that. It didn't dawn on me that the infection (which turned out to be staph, by the way) was only part of the problem, they wanted to find the cause of the infection, and therefore the sonogram.

I left Hubby at the hospital with Dexter and left to bring Curly to the pediatrician, yes, the same one I just saw in the hospital. After waiting for a long time in the waiting room (don't they realize I have a newborn in the hospital?) we were finally seen. The doctor kept asking about her belly, her eating and pooping habits, while I insisted she just look in her ears already. Finally the ear check and...ding, ding, ding, a raging ear infection. Okay, give me the prescription, and I am off to the pharmacy.

On the way to the pharmacy Hubby calls to tell me that they are going to repeat the baby's sonogram at 2:00, it's 1:30. Shoot. I don't like the idea of him having a painful procedure without me being there, so I say that I will try to make it, but I gotta go because call waiting is beeping. Hello? It's MIL who is at home with Paddy boy - he was just deemed healthy the day before, surely he can't be sick? NO, better than that..the school just called. First Son has pink eye, I need to go pick him up. Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to. Back to the Dr. and then finally, to the pharmacy.

So then I dressed the cherubs up, and headed off to the rehearsal dinner. As I said, First Son and Curly were scheduled to tote flowers and rings, and also I had promised the Sunshine Girl that I would do a quick rehearsal with the wedding party. I needed to be there. We stayed long enough to eat, the kids got gifts, and we said hello to some out of town relatives, then I headed back to the hospital for "the changing of the guard". Hubby came down from the second floor "peds" unit and got behind the wheel of Rosie, and I headed up and took my place in the cold, hard recliner chair.

The next day the Doctor arrived nice and early to tell me that the sonogram was inconclusive. It looks as though there may be a problem requiring surgical intervention, but she wants to be sure. They were going to be doing a cat-scan with contrast. "With contrast" means that Dexter can't eat for a number of hours. He of course, just finished a bottle. So the procedure is scheduled for 1:30. Dexter gets another night in the hospital. Somehow, I don't have a nervous breakdown. My Aunt stayed with me while Hubby went home to try and get First Son and Curly to take naps before their big night. He also showered and came back to the hospital with his suit in tow. Then we all took Dexter for his procedure. He was a champ. He slept through the whole thing. The radiologist finally came in to tell us that yes, indeed there is a problem, and that we would need to consult with a surgeon next. Okay. We knew that might happen. It's not emergency surgery though. The doctors all assure us that we should go and enjoy the wedding. Yeah Right.

Well, we tried. I raced home to get First Son and Curly dressed and off in their limo. Then I was faced with the task of getting myself ready. (How does one cover up the bags under one's eyes from NOT sleeping in a chair in your child's hospital room?) Meanwhile MIL went and fed herself and her dog and then headed up to the hospital so that Hubby and I could both be at the wedding for the walk down the aisle. Amazingly, they all made it down the aisle with smiles, which the bookmakers said wouldn't happen. Hubby stayed through the toasts and then he headed back to the hospital.

The wedding was beautiful. Mickey D and the Sunshine Girl looked gorgeous, the day was balmy, the food was amazing and First Son and Curly danced the night away. To be honest I even had a little bit of fun.

The next day Dexter was released. We followed up with a top pediatric surgeon the next week, had a quickie Baptism, and the week after that the surgery was performed. Now all that remains is an ugly scar under his belly button and a patch of gray hair on my head.

This week things should be settling down, but let's get real. I have no less than three children with fevers topping out in the 102 range, and a case of conjuctivitis. I'd tell you all about it but... I have to go to the pharmacy.

Blue Horseshoe Loves Anacot Steel? HA!

Friday, July 4, 2008

I heart my messy, noisy life!


This is a picture of my backyard as it looked at 7:15 this morning. I am crazy, I know, but I felt overwhelmed by the urge to capture this moment. It is a peek at my life. My life right now. It's a mess, toys everywhere, sand everywhere except the sandbox, and if you look at the left edge of the picture, a fire chief cruiser up against a tree with the door ajar (I wonder what happened to the Fire Chief?...oh, he's drooling in his crib!). Take one look at this yard and you know that it is attached to a home that is run by kids!
I felt the need to take this picture because I was looking out the window when I became a little sentimental. This time in my life isn't going to last forever, in fact it is going to fly by way too fast. Before long it will be just Hubby and me sitting in those two chairs saying "remember when...", and I want to remember every detail! My life right now is insane and I love it! I have four children under 6! My life is busy, noisy and messy! Sometimes I pine for a perfectly neat house, empty laundry baskets and a cupboard full of clean dishes instead of a sink full of dirty ones, but then I stop and remind myself that one day I will have all of those things, and it will be very, very quiet, and I will be a little sad, missing my noisy messy life. So, instead I try to enjoy the noise, and enjoy the mess while I still can. It's my life and I love it.
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