Oh Tanenbaum

The Christmas Tree. It is one of my favorite, maybe the favorite, part of the Christmas season. I am not talking about any old Christmas tree, I am talking about my Christmas tree. My very own - my family's tree. Deep in my heart I have always yearned to have my own tree - in the same way I have yearned for husband, hearth and home. When I was a child we had a tree, an artificial one - although back then we just called it "fake". For a lot of years it was a real "Charlie Brown Tree". I don't have any decorating memories of my childhood tree, although there were a few ornaments I remember and cherish. For the most part I would come home from school and the tree would be decorated. My Dad had done it while I was away working on the three R's. I can remember my Dad being very proud of it, calling for all the relatives to come over and "see the tree". It was a nice tree, pretty lights, pretty ornaments, it certainly did it's job, but I didn't have a strong personal connection to it.
When I was a young adult I lived with my older sister and her family for a few years. In their house, Christmas is the ultimate holiday, and if they could get away with leaving their light up reindeer on the lawn all year they absolutely would, not out of laziness, but for pure merriment. Christmas tree decorating in their house is a big deal. They have a party, just for themselves! They make special party foods, and eat them around the tree, while they unwrap all of the special trinkets from years past that adorn their tree. Even now, the kids are all grown and some have their own families, they still must go home to "decorate the tree". While I lived there I would partake in the decorating party to an extent, but as each kid unwrapped their ornaments, there was not much for me to do, and despite all of their efforts to include me, I felt like an outsider. I couldn't wait for the day to come when I would have my own tree.

Then I met the man who would become my husband. We were so in love. Our courtship was magical. He was such a romantic. Seriously, one day he brought homemade pancakes on a breakfast tray to my sister's house, knocked on the door and asked her to give them to me when I woke up. One day he left a bottle of my favorite sunscreen on the dash of my car after a conversation we had where I lamented the constant teasing I got from my family for being SPF obsessed. Our first Christmas together was just as special. About a week before Christmas he brought me to his house, to his bedroom where he had set up on a small table a real, 2 ft Christmas tree, and said it was "ours". To this day it is the best Christmas gift I have ever received - if you came to my house today you would see a picture of it in a frame displayed with all of my other Christmas pictures. We when right to the store and bought a string of lights, some red bows and a little angel to perch on top. We also bought one special ornament, a sand dollar painted with two adorable baby penguins. Penguins, to represent the two of us, because we met and spent so much of our time together dressed as "penguins" - working in catering. We decided then and there that we would not put any ornaments on our tree unless they were special, no colored balls just to look pretty, and so began our "collection".

Now, of course we have our own beautiful family. We have stolen my sister's tradition, and each year we host our own Christmas tree party. Everybody gets to choose a treat! Last night we had our party. We ate cocktail shrimp, pizza bagels and pigs in a blanket. We washed it down with apple juice and red and green M&M's. As we unwrapped each ornament we told it's story. The vacation, the party, the special friend, the favorite teacher, and of course, lots of "baby's first". At the end of the night, when our own special arbor was properly adorned with pearls and ribbon, when every bough was dressed in our special memories, when an angel was perched on top and a skirt wrapped below, we each took our place on the sofa. The lights were dim, and the music was cued. Curly girl had the honor of "throwing the switch", and the lights came aglow as Aretha Franklin belted out "Oh Tanenbaum" in the background. We always light our tree with Aretha. It was my favorite part of the night, always is - such a magical time. I stared lovingly at my tree, at my family, at the six foot tall fresh cut evergreen standing in the corner of m living room, dressed to the nines. Proof positive that I have my own family, my own tree, that I count!

Tonight as I write this I am totally emotionally drained. All of the cherubs were fast asleep, well, 3 out of 4, but 3 was tucked safely away in his crib babbling to himself. Hubby and I sat together in the dining room wrapping up gifts for the cherubs and making a list of what we still need to get through the 25th. You know, our own version of "Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap..." - when suddenly from the living room there arose such a clatter - we gasped to see what was the matter! The whole tree fell flat on it's face. Crash, smash, timber! We have no idea why. We are so thankful that nobody was hurt. We have cleaned up the mess and decided to wait until tomorrow to "redress" the situation. So many beautiful glass ornaments were lost, broken to shards. First Son's first Christmas, Paddy boy's First Christmas, our beautiful American flag ball, all gone. There are several more ornaments in the "hospital" awaiting a transfusion of Krazy glue. I have cried my eyes out. Such trauma. Thankfully, we didn't lose that much. A lot can be fixed. We still have our penguins. The boys both have other First Christmas ornaments. Nobody got hurt. And...I still have more mini hot dogs and biscuits in the fridge...for the do-over party.

Christmas Joy

I guess that I have kept you waiting long enough. It wasn’t my intention, of course. If I had my way there would be 60 hours in each day and I would always be able to use at least one for blogging. Life however, does not go along with my intention, and I am unfortunately left to cram as much as I can into a measly 24 hours. Sadly, the last few weeks my blog habit has not been making the cut. To be honest, at the moment I really should be doing other things with my time than blogging. First, I should be acting as a catechist in my children’s religious formation program, but it seems there is a nasty bug that has taken up residence in my lungs. I have decided to be charitable and NOT spread my germs among 13 little children one week before Christmas (Bonne Noel from Moi) – and so I am sitting in what is quite arguably the largest Starbuck’s I have ever been to, sipping a cup of tea that required way too many adjectives to order, while my children are off being “formed” by catechists other than their Mama. (I believe that there are inherent risks one accepts when dining out in public places, and one of them is that the soccer Mom at the table next to you may actually be Typhoid Mary, so I will not feel guilty about spreading my germs around this coffee house) Secondly, I should be working on my annual Christmas card, complete with adorable pictures of my sweet cherubs, however, what I thought was “free” Wi-Fi actually requires a subscription to AT&T Internet, and I do not hold any such subscription, therefore I cannot log on to any cute photo editing sites, and so I am left to work offline on this here post. Well, it kind of puts me behind schedule, but lucky you, a blog from me!

So, there is this guy “Lenny” who comes into the coffee shop where I work each Sunday. He is a “regular”. He comes in alone, usually, and sits at the counter where we engage in some playful banter. Sometimes it is even intellectual banter – and that is really fun. I totally love this guy. Not in a smoochy, kissy, I want to marry him kind of way, more like a “would you like to marry my sister and be a part of the family cause you’re a fun guy who I’d love to have around” kind of way. So the other day he is sitting at the counter and I asked him how he was doing with his Christmas shopping. He told me that he was going to be wrapping up one of his hats to give to everyone. Everyone gets a hat. The look on my face pretty clearly conveyed my thoughts – “huh?” He went on to say that he has collected quite a number of baseball caps over the years and that he is going to choose one for each family member and make it their Christmas present. Hmmm. Here comes the sarcasm. “So…I guess you must be the favorite uncle, huh?” He chuckled and admitted that yes, as a matter of fact he is. Okay, so I still don’t get it – and he must have gotten that, because he went on to explain. His grandfather, his father’s father, died when his Dad was just 8 years old. He suffered a heart attack... as he was bringing home the Christmas tree. Wow. I can see how that would put a damper on Christmas merriment. So Lenny explained that his own Dad was always very sensitive to the “stress” of the season, and made every effort to lessen it. Lenny’s family puts a whole different spin on the celebration of Christmas, which is sweet, although he does admit that they did get kind of screwed on the whole present thing.

I would like to learn something from Lenny’s story. I want desperately to cut down on the commercialism, consumerism and stress of my own Christmas, but it is hard. It is hard to balance it all. I have so many fond memories from when I was a child that I want to recreate for my children, the truth is, I want to re-live them with my own children. There is also so much from my own childhood that want to do-over, make better with my own children, my second-chance. I want my house to be decorated beautifully, inside and out. I want to bake and cook delicious things. I want to remember to always say “Merry Christmas”, and never ”Happy Holidays” I want to send gorgeous Christmas cards, I want to give perfect gifts. I want to make the best Christmas pageant costumes. I want to visit and entertain in style. And I want to balance it all out with the right amount of charity, religion and gratitude and oh, yeah, budget. We’re back to the conundrum those measly 24 hours present.

This year I have started a new tradition with my family, and it is one I am rather proud of. I saw in a magazine a homemade advent calendar made with decorated gift bags strung across the room and filled with dollar store trinkets. I thought it was adorable, but then I started to do the math. I have 4 kids. 24 days to “count down” plus gift bags –that’s easily $100 – for what amounts to…dollar store junk – and more stuff that we certainly don't need! So I started thinking some more and came up with an idea that I think is even better. I purchased a packet of small envelopes and a package of Christmas theme stickers. I sat down with my kids magic markers one night and decorated each envelope with different funny handwriting with the numbers 1-24, and threw a few stickers on to decorate. I then strung some ribbon across my china cabinet and used binder clips to hang each envelope from the ribbon. Each night after dinner we take turns opening an envelope as we count down to Christmas. Each envelope has a special message inside with instructions for a Christmas activity we are to do as a family. Sometimes it is something simple but wonderful like: have hot chocolate...with whipped cream. Sometimes it is something slightly more challenging like...make and send a Christmas card to a soldier. Sometimes it is reading a Christmas story all jammied and shnuggled up in the King bed, or watching a Christmas movie. One night the card in the envelope gave only the instruction to get jammied up and buckled up in the car....then we drove through the Holiday Lights display in our town. One night we worked together to make a beautiful paper chain to decorate one of our two Christmas trees. One night we all decorated a gingerbread house (of course Paddy boy has already eaten most of the candy off of it!). The kids love the "envelopes". I swear I should write "clean your room" one of these days, because no matter what it says they are so excited. I am so proud of this new tradition not only because I am such a "divine Martha" for thinking of it, but because I am truly making memories with my family. Yes, I have added another thing to my already heaping plate, but it is forcing me to do the most pleasurable thing I can think of...spend quality time with my cherubs. When was the last time that you really sat and watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas", or "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"? This is one of the great things about having children (either your own or someone else's - this time of year there are plenty of parents willing to loan out their kids in exchange for a few hours to "get things done")...it gives us an excuse to be kids again, if only for a moment.

So, if you have been getting cranky about my lack of blogging lately, I love you all but...get your panties un-bunched and go do something fun with your family instead, because that is probably what I am too busy doing myself!

Seriously, enjoy your families, and have a very merry, very blessed Christmas!

Mommy Advice

The Sunshine Girl has been a part of the family for a few years now, and officially since this past summer when she and Mickey D tied the knot (or truly, since April when she gave birth to "He who makes me great"). Now, since she started coming around she has always been one of the nicest, cheeriest, friendliest and happiest people I know. She is beautiful. She is smart. She absolutely brings out the best in Mickey D. From the beginning though, I noticed that something wasn't quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then one day it hit me. She SMILES all the time! Seriously, all the time. Well, I figured, she is from FL, and this is New York, where nobody smiles that much, so I chalked it up to a geographical origination issue, and I consider it part of her charm.

Now, any new mom can tell you about all of the unsolicited advice they get from anyone and everyone who ever had a baby, knows someone who had a baby or ever was a baby themselves. The Sunshine Girl is a great Mom to "He who makes me great", but for some reason I think that she probably gets more than her fair share of "baby advice" from well-meaning individuals. Someone is always telling her to put a hat on the baby, or what kind of food to feed him, or what kind of toys he should or shouldn't have. The other day I heard her telling a story about some Mommy advice that she got from her own grandmother. She said that no matter what your own day is like, no matter how you are feeling, or whatever else is happening, always, always greet your child with a big, happy grin. Always be happy and cheery, and then they will be happy and cheery too. Hmmm.....maybe it isn't just because she is from Florida, but maybe it's because she had a great Mom and a great Grandma too! All I can say is that I am sure that "He who makes me great" is going to be one happy boy!