Nosy Neighbors

You know that old saying about kissing by the garden gate? "the flowers may be blind, but the neighbors ain't"? Well, guess what? I am the neighbor they speak of! Now, it's not that I am inherently nosy, (well, ok, yes I am), but , let's be reasonable, If you decide to have a full blown, 100 decibel, lover's spat outside my bedroom window at 3Am, you can bet your ass I am going to pull up a chair.

There I was last night enjoying my sweet slumber when I was awoken by some such lover's quarrel. So out of my bed I stumbled and over to the window. There they were in the middle of the street, F-bombs flying. I kneel down, bad back and all and settle in for a show!

He says: "don't hit me! mumble mumble, you know, mumble mumble, my father, mumble"

She says, and no mumbling here, :"I'm tired of this 'don't hit me, my father used to hit me' bullshit - your father didn't f-ck you did he?!"

Me - O MY GOD (silent thought - he didn't did he??) !

Hubby then lifts his head to ask what the heck I am doing -

Me - "shh! go make me some popcorn! "

Seriously the bickering and the pushing and shoving and "I love you so much and you know it, that's why you f-ck with me" and the "all you care about is getting laid" - he said to her!, and the "just take me home and then you can go wherever you want" - it all went on for about 2 hours.

Now, I don't live anywhere near a bar or anything, none of my neighbors were having a party, I don't know how these poor souls came to decide that the street immediately outside my bedroom window would make the perfect venue for their row, but it was quite entertaining, I just wish I could TiVo that kind of drama and watch it at a more convenient time.

Hubby may now expect me to wake up in the middle of the night for other things...

like feeding Paddy boy. But, I have a bad back, you know.